The Joy of Vulnerability

Have you heard of Brene Brown? She studies gratitude, vulnerability, shame and authenticity. Her TED Talks are inspiring discussions about the cost of living with shame, unworthiness and invulnerability. Here is one:



The message has special importance to those of us on the weight loss path. Many use food to numb our emotions, to avoid feeling pain, shame and unworthiness. But, as Brene points out, we cannot selectively numb. So, when we numb pain, we also freeze out love and joy.

Brene suggests that a way back from a numbed life is to be grateful for ordinary things in our lives. To let go of the expectation that things be extraordinary and perfect. To be grateful for the gifts that enrich every day – friends, family, nature – as well as for tiny-perfect delights -- a fresh cup of coffee, sunshine, a car that starts on a cold morning.

Another suggestion is to embrace vulnerability – to admit we do not know, to express a difficult emotion, to “go with our gut” when everyone else is stuck in their heads. By expressing our vulnerability, we feel alive in a way that transcends the fear of the difficult emotions.

I have challenged myself to be more vulnerable. Every time I do it, I feel joy and pride in myself. In a meeting, I said “This does not feel right to me.” That shifted the direction of the whole conversation to a much better result. Regardless of the results, I felt good about myself for honouring my own wisdom. I felt more authentic and whole.

What would vulnerability look like to you? Telling someone how you really feel? Reaching out to a long-lost friend at this time of year? Try it. You will be surprised by the joy.